24 September 2007

Simon and the Skull Plate

No, this isn't some fictional tale, or PBS propaganda about proper skull hygiene.As most of you know my kid, Simon turned one-year old on the 5th, and then one week later was in surgery for a malformed skull plate above his left ear. Nothing major at the moment, but as he grew older, it would cause his face to twist and deform. Thus, the wife and myself chose to have the surgery done to correct the problem.Let me just say, that if you have children, you have no idea the complete lack of control that you feel when you hand your child, drunk from pre-meds, over to another human being you met only an hour earlier. In your mind, you have the full knowledge of what's about to happen. The doctor's have told you about the procedure, warned you of the risks, and as optimistic as we all try to be, there is that human side that wonders if this might be the last time that you see your baby boy alive. The eruption of love that fills you is indescribable. You've never wanted to hold him closer, kiss his little cheeks a million times, or just look into his big blue eyes until to pass out...but now, you try to squeeze it all into the few minutes before the nurse carries him off to the OR. It sucks.

The time in the waiting room passed like days, with my six year old wanting to make constant trips to the cafeteria and my wife wanting me to stay with her for support. Family and friends were there, rooting for the home team, but I honestly wonder how far from that waiting room we really were. Physically, we were sitting and listening to their remedial anecdotes about the good in life, and God's love, but this only fuels the guilty thoughts of all the bad things I've done and I wonder if today is the day where God's going to check my ticket and make me truly sorry for the shit I've done.In the end, the surgery went off without a hitch, and four days later he was back home, like nothing had ever happened, save a wicked incision and some swelling of his face.

A week after that, he was all boy again. He ran around the house trying to touch things he shouldn't, he pulled his older brother's hair while he was sleeping, and he laughed whenever I did something stupid for him. I don't know how to describe it other than blessed.

Rod